My adventure into shamanic journeying began with Sandra Ingerman. After practicing the tools she teaches and learning from my guides, I eventually ventured out on my own, helping clients find answers to their deepest questions. The journeys I experience are so vivid and full of wisdom that they always assist my clients and myself in progressing forward in life, even during the darkest and most challenging times, as well as the beautiful ones.
This particular post reflects a moment in my life when I was suddenly cut out of a job that I had been employed in for 13 years, without any warning. The employer made the decision to cut all contractors and only retain full-time employees. As a remote contractor living halfway across the world, I was among the many who were eliminated without warning or consideration. It was both heart-wrenching and confusing. I felt like a large part of my identity had been taken away, and I was unsure of my next steps. Turning to my guides for help, this is what I learned…
I emerged from the damp, dark cave into the sunlight, greeted by a young Native American man, perhaps in his late 20s or early 30s. His warm smile was welcoming, his calm demeanor a refreshing contrast to the recent dark times. Having just lost my job of 13 years due to new labor laws, I felt adrift, my energy levels depleted. I sought guidance on my career path, hence my descent into the lower world.
Addressing the young man, I asked, “Can you offer guidance on my future career path, or lead me to someone who can?” He nodded, gesturing for me to lead the way. Surprised by this reversal of roles, I questioned, “You want me to lead?” He grinned in affirmation. Typically, on a shamanic journey, I’m guided to profound insights. Nevertheless, I kept an open mind and led the way.
There was a mulched path in front of me leading into a bright forest full of singing birds, wild animals, and sunlight. The sky was the brightest blue I had ever seen. I said to the young man following, “Have you ever seen such a brilliant and beautiful day as today?” He smiled and continued to follow in my footsteps. I felt so elated and energized here. I was spinning like a little girl with my arms outstretched and eyes gazing upwards at the clouds, taking in the sun’s warmth and basking in the positive energy after being so low and depressed for many days in reality. I kept walking forward, wondering where I was going or who I would meet in order to gain the answers to my questions. Then, all of a sudden, with a huge thud, these giant boulders landed in my path, blocking the way. Once they landed, they transformed into an obese laughing woman, similar to the Michelin Man, with layers of blobs stacked upon each other towering over me like a skyscraper. I asked the gelatinous woman to kindly move out of my way so I could continue on my journey. She laughed with this deep roar and then, in an instant, became solid like concrete, as if to say, “No way, José! I will not let you pass.”
I looked around, up and down, trying to figure out how to pass this mountainous object in my way. I turned towards the guide who was following me and asked for advice. He said, “Read her sides.” “Read her sides?” I questioned. I walked to the side of the giant boulders and read what was inscribed on the stone. It said, “You can do it!” “You are weak. You lack focus. You’re pathetic. You’re all over the place. No direction.”
I began to feel a little frustrated and almost angry. Who was she to dictate what I could or couldn’t do? I was here seeking answers, making an effort, and she was trying to impede my progress. I yelled even louder, “Please move! I am on a mission!” She transformed into jelly and laughed and laughed, only falling silent when she morphed back into solid stone.
With determination, I realized I couldn’t circumvent her; the forest was too dense. Climbing over her became the only option. So, I grasped the rockface and began my ascent. Upon reaching the summit, I felt inspired to jump, to obliterate these falsehoods, to shatter the nonsense insisting I couldn’t succeed. And so I did. With each leap, she sank deeper into the earth until, finally, I landed back on the mulchy path I had previously traversed. Now, there was no mocking laughter, only applause. The ground where she had been impressed was cheering, urging me to acknowledge my strength and continue forward. Chuckling, I glanced back at my guide and asked, “Am I in a video game?” His response, “Isn’t life like a game?” I chuckled again and pressed onward.
I walked a bit further, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the birds singing again, feeling proud and determined to find my answers. Yet again, I was met with another roadblock. This time, it was a barricade of books—books upon books of all different sizes and colors stacked tall. I’ve always loved books, so I figured they would be friendly. I started to take them down one by one, creating a sort of tunnel through the thick wall of books. At first, it seemed easy, but then some of the books took flight and started flying in my face like seabirds wanting my sandwich. I swatted them away, trying to find my way through the tunnel I was creating, but it became difficult to remove books from the wall while also trying to swat them out of my face. Then they started talking, saying, “Don’t you want to read me?” “You haven’t read me yet.” “What about me or me? I’m special, and you don’t know about me yet. I can educate on a new topic. I can help you. Read me. Read me.” They all kept saying. I felt as if I was being pulled in all these different directions. I felt torn—should I read them or should I try to move forward? What is destiny in this journey—forward or here? I decided that I didn’t need the books for this journey; I needed guidance beyond books. So, I continued to burrow through the wall of books until I reached the other side. Once I was back in the sunlight, I heard cheers and clapping. Another success in the game of life, I suppose. The books were proud that I didn’t lose focus and kept on my journey.
As soon as I turned back around toward the path again, it ended. If I had taken one more step, I would have fallen into the ocean. As far as I could see was water—the path behind me and water all around. “Well, I guess I need to swim,” I thought. So I jumped in. As I began to swim, everything disappeared. The land from which I jumped was gone. 360 degrees was all water. Nothing but water. “Now what?” I thought. “I don’t know which way to swim. There is nowhere to swim to.” I looked around for my guide who happened to be enjoying this, floating above the water like a god in a cross-legged position. He tapped his heart and said, “What does your intuition tell you to do?” “Well, if I stay here and tread water, I will surely exhaust myself and go nowhere. If I choose a direction and swim and it gets me nowhere, I will be basically in the same position. If I choose a direction and it gets me somewhere, I will have success.” So, I looked within, chose a direction, and swam. I swam and swam and swam, still no land in sight. I paused—if I go another direction, it might be wrong; if I go back, this was a waste of time. I decided to keep going even though nothing was telling me this was right except my gut. No outside information was guiding me towards the answer; it was only from within me. “Trust yourself,” my guide said. “Trust in yourself.” I took a deep breath and carried on in the same direction. I was rewarded with a floating dock not 5 feet in front of me.
I climbed onto it and, despite being tired from all the swimming, I ran with joy along the dock. It was fun, bouncing and noisy, quite a relief to be out of the water and have something solid under my feet again. After a while, the dock ended at a huge wooden stairway going up a large hill. I started to climb the steps. I got about halfway up and felt tired, so I sat down on the steps. When I did, I was met with the most exquisite view—a beautiful green-blue ocean with birds flying above, fish swimming, dolphins jumping, a long dock, beautiful sun, warm weather. It was incredible. If I hadn’t stopped to catch my breath, I wouldn’t have engaged with the present moment and witnessed not only the beauty I was traversing through, but also all the distance I had come to get to this very spot. I drank some water to hydrate then continued on, up the steps, one at a time, one after another, monotonous but necessary.
At the top of the steps, I was met by an expansive open space of fields—green lush fields, nothing but fields. This entire journey so far had been forward, straight ahead, not veering off to the left or the right, but I was always pulled forward. Now, facing this open space with nothing in it but flowers and grass, I decided, or rather, I was drawn to the right for some reason. So, I turned right, walking along the cliffside towering way above the sea. Suddenly, I came upon a path that descended down and around the cliffs. Within a few steps, a stone building with a patio and tables appeared in front of me. It looked like a cafe I had been to in Cinque Terre decades ago. I walked in and was greeted by a local. “What will you have?” he said with an accent. “Orange juice, please,” I responded. I took a seat with a view of the sea, and the waiter brought me my juice. I asked, “Have you lived here long?” “My whole life,” was his response. “I have everything I need here so I have no reason to leave.” I smiled and thought to myself, how nice. A comforting thought somehow.
I sat drinking my orange juice, wondering why I chose orange juice. I rarely drink it in reality. And also, where this journey was going to take me next. I hadn’t really gained clear information on what my next steps for my career were, but I had gained insight into what I needed to do to get there: 1) ignore the naysayers, the nonbelievers, and possibly my own insecurities, 2) stop getting distracted by another course, another certification, or another book filled with knowledge from someone else, and 3) trust in my own intuition, capabilities, and inner knowing. I had gained a lot already from this journey, but I felt there was still more to learn.
God, it was gorgeous here. It was perfect. I was soaking in the perfection when the door opened, and an Australian outback-type man walked in. He came directly to my table and sat down. I asked, “Are you here to give me guidance?” He responded, “I am here to show you what you already know but have forgotten.”
“Forgotten? What have I forgotten?” I inquired.
“Who you are, how capable and talented you are. Have you noticed how different you have felt since your job disappeared? Have you noticed how you have been reminded of your talents and skills as you have updated your resume and reflected on all that you have created?” he questioned.
“Was that you all?” I asked.
“Yes, we have been preparing you for this moment. Everything. The idea you captured from connecting with your internal guidance is right. This project you desire to do, that seems crazy and unexpected, encompasses all of your skills. Writing, creativity, storytelling, shamanism, helping others, making money to provide for your family. It is all there in this idea. And without this hardship, without being forced to find another way to provide for your family, you wouldn’t have discovered, uncovered, this idea. You are ready now. Write the book. This is the topic you have been seeking since summer or in fact your whole life. You have it now. Take it and make it a reality.”
Tears began to form in my eyes as I listened to his honest words and solid guidance. I felt it. He was right. I knew he was right. I needed to do this. This wasn’t like my other projects that I created and left or finished and didn’t promote—all the other projects that just sort of fell away. This one I felt deep in my heart. It felt unique… unique to me and my purpose here on earth.
He started to get up to leave and he handed me something. I looked in my palm; it was an exquisitely designed bookmark with intricate details. I thanked him for the beautiful gift, and he said, “Mark the page in your book where you write about this moment, for it is the moment your life changed dramatically for the better.” “I will. Thank you,” I responded, tears streaming down my face.
I looked around the room. What could I give him as a gift of thanks? A pastry, coffee, napkins—there was nothing worthy around me. Then I remembered a gift I was given in another journey, so I reached into my chest and pulled out a small prism from my heart and offered it to him. He smiled and said, “Exactly.” I didn’t know what he meant right away, until he took the prism and placed it in his heart, and his whole body began to glow brilliantly.
“You’re glowing like the sun!” I exclaimed.
“Exactly,” he whispered. “Exactly. Give your gifts from your heart, and others will glow as I do.”
“Wow. Powerful,” I thought. Invigorating.
He started to leave, and I said, “Wait, what is your name? How shall I refer to you in the book?” He grinned and said, “Crocodile Dundee, my lady!” I laughed out loud and said, “Are you serious?” “Of course, it’s fun and creative and full of brilliant adventures.” Then he lassoed the door with his whip, swung it open, tipped his hat, and left.
I felt alive. I felt passionate. I felt I had direction. I knew where I wanted to go and I knew what I was meant to do now.
I got up and thanked the waiter, and I returned the way I came. Up the side of the cliff, into the field, down the wooden steps, across the dock, through the sea, onto the path. As I walked the path back to reality, I was reunited with my guide. Those wild books from earlier were all organized on long low bookshelves, lining the path on either side. They were clapping for me with their covers, and one book in particular, a quiet small one, stuck its binding out and said, “We are here whenever you need us.”
I smiled at them and thanked them. Then the path became solid beneath my feet, made of stone; the mulchy path became stable, even, and cool. Again, more cheering with every step touching the stone as I walked. I smiled. This has been wonderfully enlightening—thank you stone, thank you books, thank you guide, and thank you, Mr. Crocodile Dundee! Now I must return home with this wisdom. I am forever grateful. Thank you, guides. And into the dark tunnel I went to return from the unseen realm to reality.
I hope you can find the lessons that apply to your life in this tale. Enchanted living my friend, enchanted living.